Jay may have said “30’s the new 20, I’m so hot still”, but it is apparent after three days on the mountain and seven years since my last winter season, that 30 is not so much the new 20 when you’re trying to spend all day sliding down mountains.

Of course, there are a few aspects of doing ski seasons that are pretty cool when you’re older. Having enough money to buy a Japanese whip is certainly one those, as well as having saved enough to be able to find the right job, rather than the first job. On the other hand, we sound like the most clichéd bunch of old men when we get back off the mountain.

Whether it was that hike has made our knees hurt, we’ve got achey thighs from all the powder, or that our backs are sore from so much diving at the pool; we are definitely feeling ourselves. I had kind of thought that feeling being fit in London, cycling everywhere and running a few times a week would have prepared me well for the mountains, but no. It turns out that a fifteen minute hike up about 100m vertical requires rests on the way up and a little sit down at the top.

I don’t remember having a little sit down at the top of hikes ten years ago.

But then again, there probably wasn’t much hiking back then either; especially not on a whiteout. We would have been hungover, watching movies and eating cheese toasties. Which reminds me…

Being ten years older, going out drinking every night is far less appealing. I mean, this hasn’t come as a huge surprise; I’ve been 30 for a while now. I’m used to it. On the other hand, the sqwad being so tired they have to go to bed by 11 because they can’t keep their eyes open is a new development.  The Sleepy Dave phenomenon has resurfaced, and has also been joined by myself at times. This has meant that we have so far only been to the pub once in Revelstoke. We went for a couple of beers, and then left when the band started because it was too loud. It’s not exactly Blinded by the Lights

There’s a few culprits that I’m blaming for this change of lifestyle: we’re in the nicest house which has at least three lounges (and Netflix), the pubs don’t have many people in them (especially women), and we always have a two hour sauna/diving session after returning from the mountain, which is quite relaxing. Ten years ago we would have probably been trying to sneak in for free and pour vodka on the hot rocks in the sauna. Nowadays, we’ve got the full gym and swim pass. Because we’re interested in fitness. We also eat porridge with various seeds on for breakfast because we want those omegas.

The more I write about it, the more it looks like 30’s the new 40. He may have a Picasso baby, he may wear a lot of Tom Ford, but when it comes to life advice from Jigga, I’m off that.

JAY Z – Picasso Baby: A Performance Art Film from DERTV on Vimeo.